Botched Vegetarian Brunch @ The Butcher’s Daughter

When you walk up to The Butcher’s Daughter, you’ll notice a bunch of lovely ladies sitting at the tables up front, taking a lot of brunch selfies and drinking the requisite pretty girl drink of green juice. Clearly they are here to stick to their juice cleanse and not for the food, because the food here is honestly terrible. Someone needs to let Dad back into the kitchen, because the butcher’s daughter is making a mess of things in the back of the house.

I hate to say it, but the food here represents the worst of vegetarian cooking. You know those nightmares you have where you order a mock “meat” sausage, and it ends up tasting like dried dog biscuit? Those nightmares come vividly to life at The Butcher’s Daughter. An order of the Full English Breakfast consisted of eggs, breakfast “sausage”, beans, tomatoes and mushrooms, and the sausage looked like something out of my dog’s Pup-Peroni Mix Stix package. It tasted like dried dirt and fennel, in case the awfulness did not come across. Again, I get that sometimes vegetarians miss the flavor of meat and want to eat something reminiscent of it, but the mock meat here would only serve to quickly remind them why they converted in the first place. The most edible part of the breakfast platter was the beans, but even so, I’ve had much better beans elsewhere.

butcher's daughter - full english breakfast v2
full english breakfast – eat at your own risk

My smashed avocado eggs benedict was similarly inedible. There didn’t appear to be any seasoning at all in these sad, pallid poached eggs, not even a pinch of salt. The avocados were also extremely plain and bare. It didn’t help that everything was piled on top of the most unappetizing slice of dry, cardboard-like wheat bread ever. Supposedly there were curry, lime and mustard seed in the avocados, but I didn’t taste them at all. We had to apply liberal amounts of hot sauce and salt to get these things to taste somewhat better, but at the end, I gave up and didn’t even bother finishing the other poached egg. And don’t get me started on the “hollandaise” sauce. This non-dairy version had a strange texture and a flavor that was nowhere near the creaminess or the brightness of the regular version. I was very appalled and disappointed by the whole thing. I did eat my pan-fried potatoes. They weren’t that great, and they lacked that crunchy, starchy coating that the best hash browns and potatoes usually possess, but these were desperate times, and I was so grateful to eat them.

butcher's daughter - avocado toast
smashed avocado toast benedict, with mystery sauce…

It wasn’t all bad at The Butcher’s Daughter, I guess. The heritage juices are legitimately tasty–I loved the Goddess of Green juice, one of the best green juices that I’ve had in the city, but at $9 it’s a little steep. The Honey Bee was also sweet and refreshing, although probably a little too sweet for my taste. I didn’t like the smoothie of the day, which was a mango lassi that used coconut milk instead of yogurt, because all I tasted was shredded, frozen coconut flakes and zero mango. It was yellowish-orange though, I have to give them credit for replicating the appearance, I suppose.

butcher's daughter - juices
from top left, clockwise – goddess of green, honey bee, mango lassi

I’m the type of girl who likes to eat, and I usually end up finishing anything that’s on my plate, so the fact that I left a whole egg untouched is a pretty big sign of how bad the food here was. Afterwards, we walked to the Hester Street Fair and ate some pork sandwiches from Arrogant Swine to wipe out the horrible memories from The Butcher’s Daughter.

arrogant swine 1
thank god for the pork sandwich at arrogant swine.

I kind of get why the pretty fashionistas line up here for brunch every weekend–bad food is an extremely effective way of sticking to a dainty cleanse. Maybe “eating” at The Butcher’s Daughter will be my post holiday New Year’s clean eating resolution–nothing like recoiling from fake egg sauce to whip you back into cleansing shape.

The Butcher’s Daughter
19 Kenmare St (and Elizabeth St)
New York, NY 10012
(212) 219-3434

The Butcher's Daughter

Clean Eating 2014: A Review of Liquiteria’s Juice, Eat & Repeat Cleanse

People get really ambitious with their New Year’s resolutions–no dessert or alcohol for a month, go workout everyday, go vegan, etc, etc. But these goals are pretty restrictive, and it’s easy to go astray after 2 weeks of denying yourself. And, before you know it, one slip-up turns into a day-long binge of eating away your failures.

But here’s a New Year’s resolution you can actually keep–going on a juice cleanse for 3 days! After indulging in a pork, spam and rice diet in Hawaii, I felt like i needed to hit the reset button on my eating habits asap with a juice cleanse. I’ve done the BluePrint Excavation cleanse before, which I really liked, but I wanted to try something different. The most difficult part about a juice cleanse isn’t necessarily the hunger but the monotony of drinking the same thing for several days straight, and the thought of drinking 15 bottles of green juices wasn’t that appealing. Luckily, Liquiteria’s 3-day Juice, Eat & Repeat cleanse package was on sale at Gilt City, and not only was it economical, but it provided more flexibility by allowing for solid foods at the end of the day, so I decided to move forward with it.

liquiteria - juice eat repeat
liquiteria’s juice, eat repeat cleanse program

The Juice, Eat & Repeat program consists of 4 juices–coconut water, all greens, all greens with apple and beets me. You start off with the coconut water, and then drink the other juices spaced 2-3 hours apart. The sensible dinner option is pretty open-ended, although they recommend that it be at least 50% raw. Here’s an overview of what to expect from each juice:

Coconut Water – This is the first drink of the day. The coconut water is sweet, refreshing and pleasant. Getting that shot of coconut water in the morning really makes you feel like you’re clarifying yourself internally.

All Greens – This is the worst drink in the rotation. Most green juices have a little fruit in them to make them more palatable, but Liquiteria’s is straight up greens. No spoonful of apple to make the medicine go down. I felt like I was eating fresh grass and cucumber milk–not very pleasant. This all greens juice was the most painful part of the cleanse.

All Greens with Apple – This is such an improvement from the all greens. Much more in line with the sweeter green juices that I’ve become accustomed to. Every sip is so salubrious and refreshing. Plus, you’re so grateful to have something that tastes good after that awful All Greens predecessor, that it tastes even more amazing.

Beets Me – This is earthy and spicy, which I really liked. This juice feels more substantial than the other ones, probably because of the beets and the heat from the ginger. It certainly helped me get through that mid-afternoon low I always get at around 3-4 pm.

You probably want to know, did it make a difference? It most certainly did. Short term benefits included losing 3 pounds of water weight and getting a self-esteem boost from stepping on the scale, although of course, I gained a pound after resuming a more normal diet. My skin noticeably improved and my stomach was also flatter. The most important change is that I now consciously make healthier choices when it comes to eating, since I don’t want to undo all the hard work that went into cleansing my system. I’ve stuck to a diet of fish, fruits and vegetables, and I haven’t had the same cravings for sweets and refined carbs.

In terms of clarity of mind and energy, though, I certainly did not get any of that. There were days when I almost fell asleep in the afternoon because my body probably wasn’t used to running on just liquid calories. And sometimes I found myself very inarticulate and unproductive during work meetings, which is not so great! As for workouts, there was no way I could exercise during those 3 days, and my run the day after the cleanse was pretty sad. But the pros outweigh the cons, so if you want to kickstart your goals to eat better, than juicing can help promote that. 

if you want to learn about liquiteria’s other cleanses, such as explore and nourish, click here